Vampire Killers (2009)

The entire plot of this movie is setup in a flashback.  A vampire queen who likes to feed on the local ladies and turn them into lesbian vampires attacks a small English village.  When a brave knight returns from the crusades to find his wife a victim he forges a sword that can kill the evil vampire queen and goes after her.  He does manage to kill her, but she curses the village.  Know when a local girl turns 18 she becomes a lesbian vampire and heads out into the woods in search of victims!  Move the action to the present day where a couple of slackers, Fletch and Jimmy, end up in the woods with a van full of pretty girls.  See the locals have sent them into the woods as food for their vampire daughters.  But what they don’t know is that Jimmy is the descendent of the knight that first banished the vampire queen and that he can either be used to resurrect her or put her down for good.  Let the fun begin!

And that is exactly what this movie is, fun.  There isn’t much to the story and it plays like an inferior version of Shaun of the Dead, only with vampires.  But I don’t mean that as a bad thing.  The action moves along quickly and keeps the jokes coming.  Not everything works, but enough of the humor does that I found myself getting a few laughs out of the proceedings.  Though I’ll admit much of the humor is a bit juvenile, but then this is a movie about a couple of slackers saving the world from lesbian vampires, so really what did you expect?  One running gag is the identity of the god that blessed the magic sword that will kill the vampire queen.  Don’t worry if you miss I though, because the movie will make it more and more obvious as the story unfolds. 

The main characters of Fletch and Jimmy are likeable, mostly due to decent performances from James Corden (Fletch) and Mathew Horne (Jimmy).  They have some chemistry on screen and do a great job with the comedy bits. MyAnna Buring is also very good as Jimmy’s love interest and the only female to survive the movie, Lotte.  Toss in a very funny priest character for a few more jokes and you are in for a good time.  The rest of the cast is mostly eye candy and filled with beautiful women.  Nothing really wrong with that if you think about it. 

There isn’t much gore in the movie and what is there is mostly played for laughs.  Though I did want to mention one particular kill that involves a well-endowed vampire that is done away with using some holy water.  This scene does get rather sticky and sets up one of the funnier jokes in the flick.  There is also a nifty bit with an ex and a hatchet that involves a bit too much CGI, but is still a fun effect.  Again here the scene is played more for laughs than it is for horror.  Which I think might make the digital effects more tolerable. 

Here is the deal.  If you like horror comedies then Vampire Killers is going to be something that I recommend you check out.  If you tastes run towards more serious stuff then this movie isn’t for you.  But then if you are all about serious horror why would you ever read the synopsis of this movie and pick it up?  That said I rather liked this one and recommend it.

3 out of 4

reviewed by John Shatzer

© Copyright 2009 John Shatzer