TeenageZombies

Teenage Zombies (1959)

Okay so it is the 50s and the Russians decide to develop a chemical weapon that will turn the citizens of the US into helpless zombies. This will allow the commies to invade us without wrecking the cities or killing off the valuable workers. In a brilliant move they decide to develop the weapon here on US soil, rather than at a secure base in the motherland. Everything is going good for the spies until some teenagers stumble on their secret island and mess things up. Before you know it the teenagers have saved the day, stopped the Russians, and found the secret antidote to the zombie gas.

This is a really bad movie. The story goes beyond cheesy and is so full of plot holes that you would think it was a big old chunk of Swiss. I mean beyond the obvious questions of why anyone would develop a secret weapon on the enemies soil where it can’t be protected, where are the guards? No joke the teenage boys break out of their cage, sneak out of the house, search the island for their boat, build a raft, and sneak back in without anyone noticing! Um okay, I suppose you guys really did deserve to lose the cold war. Plus early on we see a whole pile of zombies that are then never seen again, ever! Oh and if the story is bad enough the acting is bad. It ranges from stumbling over lines and wooden delivery to what has to be the worst performance I’ve ever seen. One of the actors portraying a teenage boy has the worst stuttered delivery that I’ve ever seen in a movie. Really I wanted to dig up Einstein, find a way to reanimate him, have zombie Einstein invent time machine, go back in time and find this kid so I could kick him in the groin. Really it was that bad!

If the plot and acting weren’t bad enough the talent behind the camera wasn’t much better. Well okay to be honest it was better because they managed to keep the camera in focus and you can hear the terrible dialogue, so the sound was working. Other than that the camera work, direction, and everything else about this movie is uninspired and boring. I wish I had more to say, but there isn’t anything else I can think of.

Have I mentioned yet that the movie is bad? Really guys I’m a huge fan of the bad “B” movies of the 50s and 60s. Anyone who has followed my reviews should know that by now. There are some goofy moments in this movie that I did smile at, but even with the runtime of 73 minutes it is a chore to get thru. So you might want to check this out if you are a hardcore fan of bad 50s sci-fi, but I would recommend that everyone else pass. The good thing is that this movie can be had cheaply on several of the budget DVD sets from the fine folks over at Mill Creek Entertainment. Check out the website for more details at http://www.millcreekent.com/

½ out of 4

reviewed by John Shatzer