Hot Dog the Movie

Hot Dog… the Movie (1984)

Ah the 80s were a good time for comedies that featured lots of naked girls and some sort of bad guy vs. good guy showdown in the final act. This movie is one of those. Our hero is Harkin Banks, a farm kid that can really rip it up on a pair of skis. After working all summer for the money he heads off to a big competition. Along the way he picks up a super hot girl named Sunny, who falls madly in love with him because he didn’t try anything when they shared a hotel room together. When he arrives at the competition he sees his idol, Heinz Hartman, who of course is a complete douche to him. What Harkin doesn’t know is that the competition is rigged so that the European skiers always win, and the advertising money from Europe keeps rolling in. So even though Harkin is beating Heinz on the mountain the judges keep scoring victories for the European. This is where the oddball group of skiers that befriended Harkin come into play. After losing the competition and getting into a huge snowball fight they all challenge each other to a winner take all race down the mountain. Guess who wins?

This is far from a being a great comedy, but there is just something about these kinds of movies that puts a smile on my face. The story is totally predictable and silly, without any real laughs. But at the same time the movie is never boring, and while not really funny it is filled with bad attempts at humor. Hell they have an Asian character named Kamikaze who runs around spouting dialogue that could only of been written by someone who didn’t know Japanese trying to write something funny in a pseudo Japanese language that makes no sense. Wow that was a long sentence wasn’t it? I also found that the movie gets sort of repetitive and slow in the middle and wraps itself up in a very generic and predictable ending. Please note the next part of my review is potentially going to be sophomoric and offensive. But who cares about plot and dialogue, this is a 80s comedy so how about those boobs? There are plenty of breastages on display throughout this movie, including about a dozen random pair in a wet t-shirt contest that degenerates into a wild orgy of dancing and leering rednecks. God to be an extra in the 80s, I would have worked for free! Also we have newcomer Tracy Smith’s twins on display (quite nice) as well as 80s icon Shannon Tweed showing the goods and getting steamy in a hot tub! David Naughton (American Werewolf in London) is in the movie as well. And that is about all I have to say regarding the performances of the cast.

So yeah I like boobs and that is the best part of this movie. The rest of the movie is honestly shitty. The skiing is nowhere near world class, the attempts at humor are poorly written and the soundtrack is filled with wannabes singing knockoffs (except for one Duran Duran song, must have been the whole music budget right there). Still I find myself unable to hate the movie. This is at best an average movie that might hold some appeal to a fan of the 80s.

2 ½ out of 4

reviewed by John Shatzer