HomeSweetHome

Home Sweet Home (1981)

Jake “Body by” Steinfeld stars as the maniacal killer in this lame slasher from the early 80s. The beginning of the movie is a news report that he has broken out of a mental hospital and is very dangerous. I wish there was more to say, but this is the kind of movie that refers to him as the killer and never really gives him a name. We see the killer knock off a few people, including running down an old lady in an intersection, before he stumbles on a family and their friends getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving. He sneaks around the house waiting for them to wander out so that he can kill them off. You get down to the one survivor and then the cops show up and kill him. End of the movie.

For me this is more a rite of passage than a movie. See I’m on a slasher movie kick, and I’m trying to watch and review as many of them as I can get my grubby little mitts on. So you see this movie is that unpleasant right of passage, sort of like getting a colonoscopy that guys my age are forced to do. You can then sit around with your friends and talk about the ordeal that you have all shared. The story is incredibly dumb, without any likeable characters. The patriarch of the family is a creep who steals gas from abandoned cars and calls his son Mistake. Of course Mistake likes to run around playing his electric guitar in mime face while doing magic tricks. There is another sleazy guy that has his girlfriend up so that I think she can score a recording contract (the almost non-existent plot is difficult to follow). There is another guy who knows the family because he rents an apartment in their middle of nowhere house… Why does he rent an apartment in the middle of nowhere? Who knows because they never explain that plot hole. But then if they started to explain the plot holes the movie would be even longer and more miserable to sit thru.

The performances range from mediocre and utterly forgettable to down right crazy bad. The only real memorable performance is that of the killer, played by Jake Steinfeld. He is so incredibly bad that the stain of his “acting” shall scar my soul for years to come. Okay maybe that was a bit dramatic, but he really is awful. Basically he mugs at the camera and yells or growls a lot as he dispatches his victims. Speaking of his victims I do want to talk about the kills. Other than a really funny one with an old lady getting run down by a station wagon there is nothing to Home Sweet Home. Really all the kills either happen off screen, or are light so darkly that you have no idea what is going on.

Home Sweet Home is a mix of no plot, terrible acting, and a total lack of gore. This makes for a mess of a film that is so incredibly bad that I can’t imagine ever spending another minute watching this thing. If ever there was a movie that benefited from the lack of a legit US DVD release it is this one. I can’t believe the prices that some horror fans are paying for the VHS tape. Do yourself a huge favor and skip this turkey.

½ out of 4

reviewed by John Shatzer