Evil Things (2009)

I’ve been reviewing movies for a while now.  Before I started Gutmunchers.com I had worked with another site, and before that I had my own little blog.  All along the way my friends and family have asked me if watching bad movies was the worst thing about reviewing movies.  The answer that I always give is that it isn’t.  Writing a review for a bad movie is way too easy, it almost writes itself.  There is so much to say.  In a strange way it is easier to review a really bad movie then it is to review a really good one.  The thing that I dislike the most about doing reviews is when I have to sit thru a forgettable and mediocre movie, because there isn’t much to say about it.  So yeah lets talk about Evil Things now, shall we.

This is one of those found footage movies.  No I’m not kidding about this.  Much like what happened when Blair Witch hit it big now everyone thinks they are going to make the next Paranormal Activity (a movie which I hated by the way…).  So what we get here is a guy shooting his friends as they travel to an isolated house to celebrate on of their birthdays.  Along the way they have a run in with a van that shakes them up a bit.  Seems that the drive is messing with them.  Later they get to the house and bad things happen (in the lovely glow of a consumer camera’s night vision).  That is pretty much all I have to say about the plot.

Okay now let me be positive for a minute.  The director of Evil Things, Dominic Perez, does a couple of very cool things.  I can’t be too specific about it because I like to be spoiler free.  But there is a twist at the end of the movie that makes the audience realize we aren’t watching what we thought we were.  So I did dig the fact that he used my expectations of a found footage movie and turned them around on me.  Also towards the end when the friends are being stalked there are a few creepy moments that did work.  Sadly for me I found most of the movie to be kind of tedious.  We see the friends in the car, throwing up next to the car, in a diner, and then at the house drinking.  These scenes just go on and on.  Now I didn’t go to film school or anything but aren’t you supposed to be advancing a plot and telling a story?  This is the kind of stuff that you shoot as vacation footage and bore you family with.  It isn’t a movie. 

Sure it is realistic that friends taping each other would just be chatting and acting goofy.  But this isn’t the kind of thing that I expect when I sit down to watch a movie.  My expectations are that I’m going to be entertained by what I’m watching.  As well as the ending paid off it didn’t’ make up for having to sit thru an hour of inane chitchat and not suspenseful cat and mouse games with the mysterious van.  This isn’t a clever idea or anything that we as fans haven’t seen many times.  Avoid at all costs.

1 out of 4 (the ending is worth something…)

reviewed by John Shatzer

© Copyright 2011 John Shatzer