Carnage for the Destroyer (2006)

Sebastian loves his heavy metal, Nordic legends, and his haunted house.  But when he mixes the three together bad things happen.  For while reciting an incantation he accidentally awakens the Destroyer, a powerful ancient Demon with killing on it’s mind.  Soon Sebastian and his merry gang of followers, Morgana with her peeing problem, Beatrice, the self absorbed Choach, the Meistro, and of course Teenape are all in danger of becoming the Destroyers next victim.  Will Sebastian find a way to harness his inner metal god so that he may banish the Destroyer or will he run out of friends first? 

You know I just don’t get it when people want to rip on LBP (Low Budget Pictures) movies and director Chris Seaver.  Unlike a lot of the big budget Hollywood crap that ends up in the theaters every weekend LBP movies never try to trick you into thinking they are anything more than what they are.  If you want to watch a goofy movie that isn’t afraid to tell a politically correct joke once in a while (or every minute or two) then an LBP movie is for you.  Carnage for the Destroyer is just another of those over the top, not afraid to offend movies that I’ve come to expect from Seaver and his pack of regulars.  The story is dumb as hell and played totally for laughs.  If you have any sense of humor at all you will laugh quite a bit while watching the movie.  The whole movie is filled with situations and dialogue where you will be scratching your head and asking yourself, “did they just say/do that?”  Just let me give you a single line, “Am I into three ways?  Do Negros grow in the Jungle?”  If that line offends you then for the love of God don’t watch this movie. 

Carnage does boast a decent special effect with a suicide by pistol.  That is sort of odd since most of the time these movies are played totally for laughs and lack any real effects budget.  There is also some fun with a decapitation by intestines that is more in line with that I expect from a LBP movie.  I was a bit surprised by some sound and picture issues.  Some of the scenes are hard to hear and much of the movie is shot in a haunted house, which is light terribly.  So a big chunk of the movie is almost too dark to see.  In spite of being very low budget and shot with low-end equipment this is the first LBP movie that I can remember having such an obvious technical flaw.  There is also a decent amount of original music that fits well with the movie and is just as goofy. 

I am going to knock a bit off the rating for the review because of the technical issues, but I still had fun with the movie.  This is packaged from Tempe with several other LBP movies starring Teenape at a good price.  Check out http://www.tempevideo.com/ for more information on where to pick them up. 

2 ½ out of 4

reviewed by John Shatzer

© Copyright 2009 John Shatzer