CannibalTerror

Cannibal Terror (1981)

When a pair of inept criminals and one of their girlfriends decide to kidnap the daughter of a rich businessman for a quick buck things go to hell fairly quickly. Rather than give up their plan they take the girl to an isolated house on the border of cannibal country to hang out until the ransom is paid. But after one of the men attack and rapes the wife of their host their hide out is given up. Not only that but the husband takes the man who attacked his wife into the jungle and feeds him to the cannibals! Eventually the girl’s parents and some hired firepower shows up and chase the kidnappers (with the girl in tow) deep into the cannibals stomping grounds. Who will live and who becomes dinner?

The kidnappers get eaten and the altruistic cannibals give the girl back to her parents telling them the bad people got what they deserved. Trust me this isn’t a spoiler and I just did you a favor so now you don’t have to watch this movie. God help me I love Severin and they put out some great movies, but even they are going to miss once in a while. Cannibal Terror had the opportunity of going one of two ways, being an incredibly brutal cannibal flick, or going super cheesy and being goofy fun. Neither happens and what we end up with is a complete mess of a movie that ends up running out of steam before the halfway point. Seriously they spend 35 or 40 minutes (real time) just showing scenes of the kidnappers walking thru the jungle, the parents following, and some cannibals occasionally popping up shooting arrows and tossing spears at them. I actually stood up and walked around the room to keep from falling asleep it was so boring. And when we do get to the end of the movie everyone is so happy and comfortable, in spite of being surrounded by natives chewing on bits of people! I mean even if you hated them wouldn’t it be a little bit gross? I could talk about the cast here, but the movie is so poorly written that I have no idea how good or bad they were. Let me give you a sample of the dubbed dialogue. “Watch your ass.” The response is, “My ass is go F**k yourself.” Get the picture?

The budget and special effects in this movie leave a lot to be desired. No matter how many monkeys you have screeching in the soundtrack Spain doesn’t look like the jungle. Especially when you film in an arid region surrounded by rocky hills. But maybe this is the special kind of jungle where the cannibals have giant well-trimmed sideburns, comb overs (even a cannibal can have self image issues I suppose), and visible tan lines where they took their watches off before shooting! The special effects are inept and consist of a couple rubber appliances that look to be filled with the left overs from the butchers shop. There isn’t a single onscreen kill, terrible cuts every time a weapon falls, and not a single recognizable appliance that gives the audience the impression that the natives are eating anything other than raw hamburger.

This movie is too boring to get the cheesy factor going and too lame to be a brutal cannibal movie. So what we get is just a lame waste of time. Though I will give the movie some style points for the sideburns, which had me cracking up, but still don’t recommend it. Check out the Severin website at http://www.severin-films.com/ for more information on this and the other much better movies they put out.

1 out of 4

reviewed by John Shatzer