Bone

Bone (1972)

This twisted 70's flick starts out with a big black guy, Bones, showing up at the home of a wealthy white couple, Bill (the owner of a used car lot) and Bernadette (Bill's trophy wife). At first it seems that Bones might just be there to perform a quick civic service by killing a rat trapped in the pool drain with his bare hands, but soon the illusion is shattered and Bones forces the couple up to there nice big house to ransack it for money. Alas, there is no money to be found, Bill is in debt up to his eyeballs and has exhausted most of the bank accounts. Finally however, Bones does find an account that Bill hid away $5000 in, so that Bernadette could not find it. Bill at Bernadette get into a bit of a fight over this now, Bones getting the first taste of just how messed up the couple he chose to rob is. Bones finds it amusing at this point. Bones soon sends Bill out to get the money from the account and bring it back by a certain time or Bones says he will rape and murder Bernadette. Bill heads out to the bank to get the money, thinking about the situation the whole way there. He gets to the bank and waits in line, meeting an odd but kind of cute girl there who talks his ear off a bit. When he finally gets to the bank counter and is about to withdraw the money from his account he starts to think back on what a bitch his wife really is and how mean she is too him. Instead of withdrawing the money and bringing it back to save his wife, he decides to slip out to a nearby bar for a drink as he turns the situation over in his mind. While there he is reminded by another patron of a dog that used to be in his used car lots commercials. The dog had been killed later and Bill had put on a big sale in his honor, selling tons of cars. If the death of some stupid dog could sell cars what would the death of his wife do for him? It's at this point that Bill decides to abandon his wife and let her be raped and killed by Bone. Bill celebrates this decision by hooking up with the strange cute girl he met in line at the bank. He hangs out with her for a while during which she teaches him how she lives life without a job by stealing from cars, eating while pretending to shop at super markets and a myriad of other tricks. Eventually he finds out that she was molested as a kid in a movie theater and he reminds her of the guy that did it. They then have sex. Cut back to Bones and Bernadette. During this whole ordeal they have been hanging out at the house where Bones is making her cook and stuff for him. You find out that Bones is a bit crazy too when he recites a story from his past where he collected ice pop wrappers and then had to get rid of them because of cockroaches, the story ends with him making Bernadette kill imaginary cockroaches on her table. Later Bones decides that Bill is not coming back and tries to rape Bernadette, he can't get it up and they end up having a nice meaningful conversation instead, where Bones explains how the changing society has taken the mystique out of being a big black rapist and it's ruined his life. Bernadette consoles him by seducing him and having sex with him. After which they eventually come up with a plot to kill Bill for his life insurance money. The rest of the movie is Bones and Bernadette tracing down Bill in order to kill him. They catch up with him and I'll leave the surprise ending a secret in case you decide you want to watch it.

Everyone in this movie is Crazy. Bones, the big black rapist, is probably the sanest person you see in the movie. There's craziness that I didn't even touch upon. A lot is going on in this movie. There is an underlying subplot about Bill and Bernadette's son that I don't think I mentioned. There is also a crazy story told about a man killing himself via dentist X-rays. Crazy, Crazy, Crazy. It's not really bad, it's just that it makes it a somewhat surreal movie full of messed up people with messed up secrets and messed up lives. It's shot well and the acting is actually pretty good. It does seem like it's just darker and more insane made for TV movies from back in the day, but it's still not bad. It has also has a surprise twist at the end that I thought was great.

I kind of liked this movie. I didn't love it but I was entertained by it. You won't get bored as one thing after another is thrown at you. It's got some neat scenes and good writing and even though it's a bit busy, it's not that hard to follow. I especially liked the scenes with the weird klepto girl. It's got a very 70's flavor to it and if you liked some of the more whacked out movies from back then, I think you'll enjoy this one. For more information on where you can pick this one up head over to the Blue Underground website at http://www.blue-underground.com/

2 ½ out of 4

Reviewed by Scott Schwarzwalder