April Fools Day (2008)

So if you are one of those horror fans that think we older guys should stop complaining about the lame attempts to remake the horror films of the past and should give everyone of them a chance you might want to stop reading right now.  I say this because I’m about to go off on yet another lame attempt to remake a classic 80s slasher movie.  This time around the offenders are the way overrated Butcher Brothers directing team.  So the story here is about a bunch of idle rich kids (I use the term loosely because some of them appear to be in their 30s!) that try to get back at a young woman they all hate.  They end up accidentally killing her and on the first anniversary of her death someone starts to kill them off one at a time.  But who would do such a thing?  And if so how can they seemingly be everywhere at once?  Oh and who cares because the characters are so annoying I hoped they all died, which makes the ending really annoying.

So if you have seen the original April Fools Day or if you can read and graduated Jr. High School I think you have the twist figured out.  Now this gimmick worked in the original for a couple of reasons.  First it was a holiday and they were running out of holidays to use for slasher movies, so it wasn’t too obvious.  Secondly that movie actually had some gore and was not a boring retread that threatened to induce sleep at every turn.  This movie is so incredibly boring with not much happening at all until the last 10 or 15 minutes that I almost turned it off.  But I persevered hoping that perhaps I could just steer one of you loyal readers away from this crap.  The first 20 minutes of the movie are just some sort of boring and lame setup for the initial accident, and then the movie jumps to a bunch of fake gossip T.V. shows for a few minutes to rehash what we just saw.  The “kills” are boring with the only one on screen being the taped death of the gossip columnist drowning as he tries to save his dog.  Honestly if that is your best kill you need to rethink what you are doing with your career as a director and writer.  The one time that the movie actually starts to feel like a thriller or horror film they suddenly start to play it for laughs (the parking deck scene…. Blah) which should speak volumes about the creative team behind this turkey.  What an awful waste of time.

I suppose I could now talk about the cast.  They are all pretty and that is most likely what got them the job.  The special effects aren’t really so special.  In fact other than a bullet hit at the end they pretty much suck.  I suppose they will use the twist ending as an excuse, but really guys either do better or find another line of work. 

Surprise I’m not recommending this movie at all.  This is a perfect example of leaving well enough alone.  My only hope is that this movie will be the final example necessary to show companies that you should stop remaking old horror films and that the Butcher Brothers shouldn’t be directing them. 

½ out of 4 (bullet hit was good, plus I hated that character!)

reviewed by John Shatzer

© Copyright 2009 John Shatzer