3onaMeatHook

3 on a Meathook (1973)

This movie starts off with a group of girls heading off for a weekend of fun. After some skinny dipping (gratuitous nudity is a must for a drive-in movie!) they head off to a cabin or something. Along the way the car breaks down and a way too nice guy picks them up, offering his house for the night. They stay with him, in spite of how much this displeases his father, only to be killed off in violent ways. Then we get to see the young man, Billy, fall in love and invite his girl over to the house. Yep bad things are going to happen and twists will be revealed.

I’ve always wanted to see this movie. I’m a big fan of director William Girdler, especially his Jaws rip off Grizzly. So this was a must watch for me regardless of how bad people have told me it is. I only wish that I had listened to them, because this is easily one of the worst drive-in movies that I’ve ever seen.

The story starts off with such potential. You see some skin, the girl’s head to his house, and the killings start. I had expected a Texas Chainsaw thing to happen. You know the main girl is tortured before escaping or something relentless like that. But maybe 10 minutes into the movie all the girls are dead! Then we get to see the love story between Billy and his girl. This is so freaking boring. They walk around and talk about life. It is forever before we get back to the house. By then I was so bored that I didn’t care what was going on. There is some action in the last 5 minutes of the movie, including a “What the Hell” moment that comes completely out of left field. But it is way too late to save 3 on a Meathook. Oh and if I wasn’t already annoyed the movie spends it’s last few minutes with a psychiatrist explaining to Billy and the audience what happened. You know it is a lousy movie when they have to explain the narrative to the audience right before the end credits roll!

The only positives that I did take from the movie were the effects. They aren’t good at all, but they have a rough low budget feel that I rather liked. It reminded me of much better movies from the ‘70s that I liked. Other then that I can’t think of anything positive to say about this one guys.

I really do like William Girdler as a director. Day of the Animals, Grizzly, and the goofy as hell Manitou are all worth checking out. Sadly this isn’t. Clearly they wanted to make a movie to take advantage of the success of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but perhaps before shooting they should have fleshed out the script more. 3 on a Meathook is a great title, but that is about it. I’d pass if I were you.

½ out of 4

reviewed by John Shatzer