30000LeaguesUndertheSea

30,000 Leagues Under the Sea (2007)

When a US nuclear attack sub disappears under mysterious circumstances Lieutenant Aronnaux and his experimental rescue sub are called to the scene. While diving to the sub there is an accident and they all pass out due to an oxygen leak. When they wake up they find themselves guests on the Nautilus under the command of Captain Nemo. The good Captain is very interested in some of Aronnaux’s developments and tries to convince him to help recover the ancient city of Atlantis, which lies nearby. But of course not is all as it seems and when Aronnaux and his crew don’t readily agree to Nemo’s vision the Captain tries to brainwash them into his way of thinking. Of course our heroes manage to escape and turn the tables on Nemo, who is killed when the Nautilus is destroyed (sorry about the spoilers but meh…).

So how hard is it to write a script when you have a classic work of literature to “borrow” from? Apparently it is very difficult because this is one of the worst attempts at a story that I’ve seen in a long time. The script lacks any smarts, has no narrative flow to it and honestly is insulting to anyone who is a fan of the classic Jules Verne story (as I am). There is little to no action in the script, which is bogged down by extended scenes that are filled with far too much dialogue for the sub par cast.

Oh and speaking of the cast who the hell thought casting Lorenzo Lamas as a scientist was a good idea? This is one of the worst miscasting episodes since the whole Tara Reid Alone in the Dark fiasco. Not to be mean but he just can’t pull this character off. I’ve seen him in some action movies and he has done okay, but this just isn’t for him. Miscast actors and a bad script make for a painfully boring movie.

Speaking of painful the effects are awful. I’ve seen bad CGI before, but this movie decides it is a good idea to not only continually show the bad CGI, but linger on it as well. Of course watching the bad CGI is preferable to watching the poorly light interior scenes that dominate the rest of the movie. Oh wait there is more. In many of the poorly light scenes the audio is so bad that it was difficult to even hear what was going on! Of course considering the cast and script maybe that isn’t such a bad thing.

If you haven’t figured it out yet this isn’t a very good movie. I don’t mind a cheesy bad movie once in a while, but this one is too slow to even be good for a few laughs. I’d pass on 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea. If you insist on checking this one out the good news is that it is on a cheap set from Echo Bridge Home Entertainment (check here for more details). The good news is that there are some cheesy movies on the set that are worth checking out.

½ out of 4

reviewed by John Shatzer