1990 Bronx Warriors

1990: Bronx Warriors (1982)

In the future year of 1990 the Bronx has become a wasteland ruled by gangs of bikers, roller skaters, and mutants! Into that chaos comes the wealthy heir to a multinational corporation, who is escaping the men who wish to use her to sell even more “death” to the masses. Without her the leadership of the company will be paralyzed and unable to operate. But the company won’t let her ruin their plans and sends in the Hammer, a merciless killer, to get her out of the Bronx. But by the time the Hammer arrives the leader of one of the bike gangs with whom she has a “thing” going has taken her in. Together with the Ogre, the big boss of the Bronx, they do battle with the Hammer and all of his forces that come into the Bronx to kill them and take her back to the company.

Okay first thing you have to do is turn your brain off when watching this bad boy. If you try to apply any logic at all you will very quickly get angry. Why you may ask. Well apparently the filmmakers didn’t feel the need to hide the traffic and pedestrians that cannot only be seen walking around in the background, but occasionally staring at the actors as well! But if that weren’t enough they also include footage of one of the actors unintentionally wiping out on his motorcycle. This is one of those movies that uses whatever footage they shot, continuity or story be damned. But in a way this works fine. When the script includes a gang of roller skaters that look like refugees from a roller derby, another gang that tap dances around as if they were on the stage in a musical, and a meeting between the gangs that has musical accompaniment (a musician is inexplicably sitting in the middle of nowhere playing for them as they ride up!) you aren’t supposed to take the movie seriously.

If you can ignore the obvious flaws this movie can be really fun. There are silly costumes, some fight scenes that have to be seen to be believed, and George Eastman. Of course if you aren’t a huge fan of Italian cinema you may not know who George Eastman is. But he pretty much shows up in tons of these movies and is always fun to watch. Not only that but Fred Williamson stars as the Ogre. The Hammer and Big Ape in the same movie! You can beat that.

So there it is my review for 1990: Bronx Warriors. Normally in my reviews I talk about the story and cast, but this isn’t one of those kind of movies. Whether it was intentional or not this movie made me laugh and is something that I will be watching again with my friends. I can’t ask for much more than that. I also wanted to make sure to mention that this DVD is available in one of the Shriek Show 3 packs with 2019: After the Fall of New York and The New Barbarians (hey all three have George Eastman in them!). This set is cheesy fun and worth the purchase price.

3 out of 4

reviewed by John Shatzer